14 Measly points

Uhhhh... Sat down to write this then went blank. Numbered blog!

1. Looking forward to pizza tomorrow. I am so obsessed with food. Today I had..
-apple
-chicken and cheese plate
-macaroni and cheese
-chicken nuggets

2. I apologize for being sad and vague yesterday. But sometimes there is too much going on in your head that you can barely explain to yourself, much less an audience.

3. English paper totally doesn't phase me that much when I'm sitting around at home being a dumbbutt and not doing it. But then, in class, my stomach starts to quiver and I feel like I'm dying. Not healthy. It's toooooo much.

4. I'm pretty sure the only thing my lunch table did today was complain. It was still a good convo though.

5. Chessa Metz, I love your blog and all your writing in general. If I want to make a joke, I should make it about myself.

6. I like writing in planners. I like planning things to do. I just don't like doing the things.

7. Bay is in my lap sleeping and being cute.

8. Sorry, I'm super awkward. Blame me. I mean, the situation was not good. What was I supposed to say? Don't make me seem like an awful person because I was surprised, and stressed out, and generally worried. I should have said something..yeah...but maybe I had no idea what to say. And better be silent than come across really terribly to someone's parent.

9.Colddddd. In my house, outside, in the art room.

10. Excited for pottery.

11. Excited for O'Charley's soup.

12. Added on to my Christmas/Birthday list.

13. Goldilock's final dress with administrators watching tomorrow. Uhmm...0_0

14. Goodnight, I'm done.

Give up, Mikaella. Just give up.

I don't care how hopeful you want me to be.









But my mind keeps changing..

The Good, The Bad, and the Christmas List

I feel like crying. And I know it's just the stress that's getting to me.


The Good
-Been productive today
-finished last night of Kitty City
-tried to lay down some birthday plans
-happy with art project so far, super cute fake mouse for my monster cat
-I <3 painting
-I <3 my Goldilocks' mom costume
-Rass said I had good energy with my character
-My granddad's surgery went great and he's feeling fine. He'll have a nurse with him at all times so I know he's well cared for.
-I'm excited about the prospect of being 16.



The Bad
-English paper without a strong thesis
-Goldilocks! I'm kind of scared. I have to carry some bowsl to put on a table during like 6 transitions, right? And half the time today the girl who was supposed to get the table has just...not gotten the table. So I have to carry out the table with the fragile bowls on it, set the table where it should be, then set out the bowls. All in what should be a short transition. Whattttt?
-Art Project. Am I really stressed about an art project? Yes I am. I really want this to be something I'm proud of.I am farther behind than everyone else because I had that field trip and missed a day, I'm very precise with my colors, and I just generally work slow. Thankfully I have the whole background done and I like it so I won't touch it again...but yikes. Will I be done by Thursday?
-Civics..now a presentation on Supply & Demand, presenting Thursday. And then I have to write a paper about that due some time in January.
-I do NOT want to work on anything over Christmas break. You women are crazy!
-I'm getting to sleep later than I wanted to again.
-Being at Kitty City totally jacked up my sinuses.
-One complicated boy put a damper on most of my day.

The Christmas/Birthday List

These are random things I want/like.Last time I made a list like this it included a hot tub and like a Mustang. So I'll try and make it realistic.

-That black mask from Earth Bound/jewelry from there
-Starbucks gift card
-Money so I can save for...
-Christmas gifts, a nice camera
-Record player
-Web cam
-Random instruments (I already have kazoos and a slide whistle)
-Locket, I've really been wanting a pretty locket for a while. Preferably one with a long chain. (I don't normally wear gold.)
-Things with owls
-Calligraphy pens
-New copy of Scrambled Eggs at Midnight/other books I don't have
-fashionable scarves
-Cute sweatpants
-New, roomy purse
-A copy of the key to our red car
-nice new gloves
-Other gifts cards
(This will be added to. If you care to check back, feel free.)

Scream it from the rooftops, "Today is the day we are heard."

I was reading Lole's blog the other day and as I started to reply I noticed my replies getting quite lengthy.Anyway, one thing he was talking about was how he felt bad because no one said anything about his birthday the other day and it reminded me of a lot of times where I've felt like crap when no one has noticed me. So, here was my response:

The thing I’ve had to come to terms with at least a zillion times is the balance between yelling, expecting, and making people aware. The Yellers:Some people live their lives yelling about their problems, and their successes, and their minor everyday life-and most of the time, people respond to those people in the appropriate manner. It's easy for them to be heard. Everyone within a 10 mile radius knows exactly what they want. “Oh my gosh you guys, it is TOTALLY my birthday tomorrow, get excited! I am the best person ever so I KNOW you will all get me marvelous stuff. I’m just like, the best, you know? So yeah. I’m gonna be 16 which is like the best thing ever and I want you all to bow down to me.” So everyone is like, “Oh my gosh, yeah. Happy Birthday. I totally have your gift ready and I know you'll love it. Just wait.” The Expectors:Then there are those, like me and you and a lot of other people I know, who casually drop a couple hints but really just expect people to know. Like, I couldn’t count on both hands the number of times I’ve been really upset and no one, I mean NO ONE, has said a thing. And, it’s not because people don’t care, it’s because they don’t notice. You’d be surprised at how little most people, including me, actually perceive. It’s really easy to just want everyone to know what’s going on with you-but most of the time, they won’t. So, you have to be the third type of person, the type who make people aware. “I’m sad right now, guys. And I’d like to talk about it.” Or, “I’m really excited about my birthday. I’m a little disappointed how unexcited everyone else seems. And I don’t just want to sit here feeling bad about it.” It’s not comfortable to do and maybe it’ll make you embarrassed, but it saves some heartache-for everyone involved. We have people surrounding us who genuinely care about us. So let's speak up and let ourselves be heard. Because everyone deserves it. At the end of the day, we're all just people.

Which are you? Which do you want to be?

My Loves

Now I'm the one who's excited!
14 days till my birthday
13 school days till Christmas break

Amen. And even so, let it come.

This weekend has been fantastic for me. The busier I am, and the more fun I'm having, the slower the weekend seems to go. I loved working at the shop with my boo. I loved spending the day celebrating Lole with my best friends. CALM. (CLAM)

And today, it was great to see my grandparents. My granzie, mom, and I went down to the cafeteria and ate. I'm not sure quite how long we were down there but I do know that the conversation we had was really great and there was not a dull moment. She surprises me so often with truly meaningful nuggets of wisdom, her funny stories, and most of all her undying kindness. I love her so much and I hope to grow more and more like her. Pray for my granddad. I'm not really that worried, but I do want him to come out of the bypass surgery Tuesday morning 150% better than before. If anyone deserves it he does. But he keeps talking about being at peace with his life and feeling no guilt. I'm glad, really glad, he feels that way and it eases my mind. But I still don't want him talking that way. He is my only Granddad Bruce, and I don't want him going anywhere.

Trying to get myself in a mindset of being really productive this week. (Which will probably start by me cleaning my room tonight.) I know I have a lot to tackle and I'm a little worried about getting burnt out. So. Many. Papers. Onward, to victory!

Since like 4 o'clock today I've been bumming in pajama pants, big fuzzy boots, and a sweatshirt with my hair put up. But I've felt gorgeous and magical the whole time. That, my dears, is the definition of self confidence.

I must go run and clean. But, I LOVE YOU! (And don't you dare forget it.)

Happy Birthday, Lole!

I would like to dedicate this whole entire post to Lole William Johnson. Happy Birthday, hun. I only wish I had the power to make it more epic.

"You're tall and fun and pretty. You're really really skinny, Ginny. You're the Mickey to my Minnie, I'm the tigger to your Winnie, Ginny." Love it!
So this blog may be scatterbrained. I'm gonna go see if I can upload pictures. Crap. Crap. The camera only has an SD card and I can't find a cord and my computer doesn't have the right slot. Sad sad sad. Anyway, the pictures are great. -sigh- I just finished commenting on Lole's yesterday blog. It was like a page and a third long on Word. That is legit. I just had a lovely conversation with Mariah while she was in the shower.

So much happened today, but I'll tell you the things that I thought were highlights in absolutely no order.

1. Reading dumb stuff in Books-a-Million and making Chessa write a Nerdfighter note
   
2. Dance party in the bathroom with Chessa Metz to Our Lips Are Sealed
3. Buying a crappy wooden flute at Earth Bound
4. Flute jokes
5. Creepy terrorist hispanic
6. Photo booth
7. Butter churning boy
8. Being obnxious with Chessa
9. Beautiful masks and a picture of NY
10. Laying around watching movies with my boys
11. Totally leading the whole group in the wrong direction
12. Awesome presentation lady in Bose

Short post. Pictures/other stuff later. I really wanted to say how much I appreciated today.

Kitty City/Palace/Town Experiences

Tonight I served my community by working at a local domesticated animal rescue shop called Kitty City in downtown Concord. I brought along my friend Andrew Singleton who also helped around the shop and assisted me in the work. As soon as we arrived we were casually debriefed and then given a range of task to perform.

1. First, we moved 5 cats from a play room back into their cages. We had our hands full with the young and lively kitties who were reluctant to stay still, and some even to be held.

2. Second, we cleaned out one of the front window displays which held two young dogs. We prepared their carriers, then I removed the waste papers that were lying on the floor, and afterward I mopped the small area.

3. Third, we folded a large basket of towels and cat hammocks that were to be used in the cat cages and put them away .

4. Finally, the task which occupied the majority of our time at Kitty City, was cleaning out the litter boxes most of the cats and replenishing their food and water if necessary.

Interspered with these tasks were short periods of time where we could hold and play with the cats and dogs, learn their names, characteristics, and individual personalities. Also, during the time we interacted with other volunteers and staff and shared our experiences with service projects. I found the 3 hours to be very rewarding and also quite tiring.

I faced a plethora of small difficulties and challenges while working at the shop. The most prevalent of which was my terrible gag reflex. While cleaning out the dog display and the litter boxes the aroma (which came in wafts and very unexpectedly) and sight of the waste (such as a large puddle of liquid poop) was almost enough to make me run from the general area. I couldn’t abandon my friend or the task though, so I had to charge on. Another issue we faced was carrying the mop water back and forth. Not only was the container quite heavy, there were also changed in the floor levels between areas and stairs. The most fun challenge though, had to be chasing cats around who had escaped their areas while we were cleaning or refilling their food and water. It was almost like a little rodeo right there in the shop.

There were also some very rewarding moments during the time I spent there. During our first task I had to face a particularly obstinant and skittish kitty, named Sir Purr. The other ladies wished me good luck on wrangling the little creature as I walked into the room. The cat immediately hid behind the play equipment and whenever I approached he further retreated. I remembered how my cat, Bay, used to act when my mom first got her and so I tried to be as calm and gentle as possible. I knelt down near the cat and slowly offered my hand to him. He walked over acautiously and sniffed it. Soon, he was rubbing his head all over my hands and I was able to scoop him up and take him back to his cage. Also, during the night I helped another volunteer to start a dryer. She couldn’t figure out why the machine wouldn’t start and it only took me a few seconds to find the problem. I felt proud and glad that I could help her. One of the more scary accomplishments was surviving an all-out attack by atleast 50 or so cats, (Just kidding, only about 6 or so, but still.) The cats were all playing in the other front window, opposite from the dog display, and I decided I would go have a visit with them and pay attention to them. As I opened the door, all of the cats in the small room stampeded towards the door. I placed my foot in the crack so they wouldn’t run out, and a white spotted cat started climbing up my leg. I screamed as the cat was dangling from my thigh with it’s claws shoved into my flesh. Then it climbed up on the screen door and tried clawing it’s way out of the room. Meanwhile all the other cats were swarming around my feet. I shut the door as quickly as possible and ran away from it. I was very glad I did not receive any worse damage.

I took away a from the experience a feeling that I could definitely be responsible for the sort of jobs I was doing. I also learned some of the inner workings of the shop. I realized how much fun I can experience while serving others. Working wasn’t a bore or a chore and the attitude I brought to it affected the whole night. When I commit to a project and feel strongly about it, I can accomplish anything.

:D I really loved hanging out with Andrew and laughing with him while scooping poop. We also got some icecream which I ate most of, talked to a girl from Concord, and took a lot of pictures for my project. It was fun. <3

I'll talk about the field trip to the government center tomorrow. Now, shower and sleep.

P.S. Original rap I started making after mopping.

This is why I mop.

This is why I mop.

This is why this why

This why I mop

I mop outside

and then I stop

This is why this is why

This why I mop

Roll up to the place: straight volunteer swag

They offered me a mop, I said, "Gimme a grab."

Workin' real hard from 5 till 8

You know I show up early-then I stay late.

The other volunteers they holla at me

cuz no better worker they ever did see

I'm mopping up the poop, and and the pee and the spills

I'm cleaning out the litter and I'm feeling a lil ill.

You know it's true how I luh me some kitties

The smart ones, the fat ones, the ones that are pretty.

I hold em, I squeeze em, I catch em running wild

y'know they my babies, yeah, Bay is my child.

Nothing better than lending a hand

If you haven't done it-you wouldn't understand

Just doing your thing for the good of the rest

At the end of the day, it's you who feels blessed.

So, yo dawg, this rap has gotten cheesy

But don't blame me, my rhymes don't come easy.

All I wanted to tell you was how I lent a hand

And to get out there and help, that's an order: a demand.