Community Service-Patricia's Lament

"What does community service mean to me, Sir? To me, community service means waking up early in the morning to take a shower because I smell bad. It means putting on foundation to hide my bumps and age spots, and eyeliner to make my eyes POP (whatever the hell that means) , and mascara to make my blonde eyelashes turn black. It means rubbing on concealer to convince everyone else that I wasn't up, working late again, last night. Community service is shaving my legs to wear a dress. And then wearing that dress to a wedding where no one really cares about the dress I'll be wearing or Easter morning service where obviously my style is the main attraction. It means putting on cute little shirts that "accentuate my figure" and only wearing the colors of the season. Serving the community by upholding societal norms and pretending they aren't completely ludicrous.

Community service means exchanging pleasantries with acquaintances you bump into in the hall, or the grocery store, or the doctor's office. (Honestly, why are you talking to me while I'm at the doctor's office? If I wasn't sick before, I might be after having to engage you.) It means smiling and asking questions you don't really want the answers to. "How are you? Your kids? Your dog? Your sick aunt? Your new yoga class?" And in turn, you'll have to ask me pretty much the same questions and I'll have to say at least a word or two to appease your desire to be polite.

Community service is signing up for the PTSA and giving sugar to the person next door who only asks for something at least once a week, and buying cookies from Girl Scouts. Community service is.......giving a rip about what other people think and doing the most neighborly thing in a situation. It means doing those things that seem unecessary and aggravating. Community service is representing yourself as best as you know how. Community service is me coming to this interview, and me adressing people younger than me as Sir. Community service is teaching other generations the difference between being yourself and being sloppy.It means setting an example. Sir,to me, community service is adopting this child and raising him right."