Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Fire and Ice

An experiment in rhyme.

I'm made of fire.
You're made of ice.
I'm everything mean.
You're everything nice.
There's blood in my veins.
There's blood in your ears.
You wash away anger.
I wash away tears.
Your mind is spinning.
My mind is spite.
Fly away like a bird.
Fly away like a kite.
I'm made of fire.
You're made of song.
You're everything right.
We're everything wrong.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Night Riding

The air is exhilarating, still steamy from the heat of day. The air buzzes and is lit by fireflies, doing what they do best. The whir of wheels and chains and movement sings along with my heart. I laugh, daring myself bit by bit. Go faster. Put out your hands. My mother rides along with me, then behind me, in front of me. She sometimes seems uncertain of her actions. She chatters of aches and pains and no-way-could-I's, but I convince her she can anyway. The air whooshing past me and under me, and seemingly through me is calming and freeing. I strip off the vest I have over my camisole and throw it to the ground haphazardly. I want to feel everything. My own wind sweeps across my chest and pushes the hair from my face. I know we are riding together, but sometimes looking at the moon I feel it's only me,there-under the celestial glow. We circle to where one lamp post's light ends and almost cross into another pool of light, that's the turn. We head back to where the road dives down-but stop short of the plummet. The gamut of the blazed trail isn't extraordinary, nor the people, nor the event in itself; something about the air and the strain of muscle and heart feels magic,though.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Some people have dreams in 1st person, and some in 3rd, but does anyone else get a mix of both

within a dream?

I do. And sometimes I'm different people as the dream goes on. Not necessarily me. Tell me about your dreams.

Monday, June 7, 2010


as indecisiveness : chessa
as shyness : william
as aloofness*: mariah
as drama : leah

It's kind of one of my biggest things that I do/get involved in that bothers me. (Also, don't get angry at me about what I chose. This is just something I observe..which I will address later..) I think myself into a hole ABOUT ANYTHING. About insignificant nothings and the looks on people's faces and the future and my decisions. The reasons for everything and the treatment of others and how everything applies to me and why the world is how it is. Why my cat loves to sit on my arms while I'm typing. (Me gusta mi gata mucho. Mi gata es mi amor. Un de mi personas favoritas.(Spanish fail)) Things that shouldn't or don't matter in the scheme of things..

"What is your point,Mikaella? Honestly, I'm bored to tears and if you keep yacking without making a point I will unfollow you."

Thanks motivational voice for that elegant kick in the pants.

I'm talking to myself.

I guess I just feel so in my head a lot. A good deal of the time, this is okay. I just think quietly to myself and it doesn't affect any one else. Good, right? Yes. But then there are the other times; the times when I take all this thinking and think about it and decide to change something. (Usually these decisions are made in the shower.) These thoughts that lead to action stem from people, and their actions. Oh! How a face or a sigh or a word choice could drive me up the wall and change my perspective, my mind, my course of action. So be on your toes! As much as I don't want or mean to I am silently judging you and storing some of it away in my worry bank**! I shouldn't do this! I should be LIVING not THINKING ABOUT LIVING. But I synthesize, and by that I mean assume, and then..sometimes I make big mistakes. Or maybe not so big, I just make myself sound stupid, or self righteous, or...stupid. Usually stupid. I don't want to assume. As I categorized some of my good friends according to what I think their stigma is! Do you SEE that? Maybe I was right, in which case, okay. But maybe I wasn't and that isn't how they see themselves and maybe me saying so is just another mistake. The thing is, I love these people, and a lot of other people too. But I feel like I've personally done them wrong by deciding things about them. I even feel bad about doing this to people I DON'T care about strongly. But what am I even doing now? I'm talking all this out and analyzing myself.“The unexamined life is not worth living."Socrates said that. But how far, my dear reader, is too far? Is everything important? And am I wrong to think how I do and of people that way? I know I wouldn't want people doing so to me and taking every flippant remark as some internal tie-breaker. On the other hand, is this what I was made for? To have a sense for people, and to try and know them as best I can with the information present? Is that a good trait for a psychologist? Or do I need to be more taken aback and just not assume I know anything, let the picture be clear before I make up my mind at all? I guess there are merits of both. What do you think though? Would that kind of thing get on your nerves? This bothers me because I don't want to be someone unlikeable and so sudden with things. I can barely ride my train of thought.It's like my brain is a machine for converting coffee and junkfood to fidgeting, and scattered thoughts, and terrible metaphors.

I shouldn't even be awake. I have church tomorrow. But when the muse strikes YOU GRAB THAT PUPPY BY THE HORNS AND RIDE IT!

*Is that even a word?
** There are currently several people in my worry bank. Also, the fact that I am so angry that I lost all my music and most of what I have now is crap and it has taken me this long to get it all and I'm going to spend all summer getting it all back. AY!

Please comment and respond.
All my crazy love for you,

Saturday, June 5, 2010


You know what I like to call bikers?
Speed bumps.
They love it when I call them that!
I roll up to the biker bars saying, "Heyyy, speed bumps. How's it going road humps?"
That's how I got this. -points to scar-
I just tripped and landed on this guy's fist.
No, no! Not like that.
He's a real friend of mine.
Name is Rex.
We skype.
But,anyways, what were you saying?