Thursday, October 28, 2010

Does it Dance or Does it Stomp

Does my mind dance?
Or does it stomp?
Does my smile entice?
Or does it confuse?

I am smiling for you
and you are walking away from me.

And everything I am,
Or think I am,
Or hope to be,
Still happens to be
wrapped up
In how you respond
to me.

The Chain-Ingrid Michaelson

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

i wawnna lean you

Comment received on my youtube channel:

8 hours ago

okayi.m from the netherlands and i play guitar to en you playing it very bad sorry i wawnna lean you seacrhg mee say on search 1297dion and click wonderwall lesson you must chose one or the lesson

grerts dion uit nedterlands you may say somthing back


Okay, I'm from the Netherlands and I play guitar, too. And you're playing it very bad. Sorry. I wanna teach you. Search me by saying search on 1279dion and click Wonderwall lesson. You must choose one of the lessons.

(Probably some Dutch greeting) You may say something back.


Winky faces always make things more "adult", I would say. I mean. Compare:
Jim: Hey :)


Jim: Hey ;)

The first says, "I am happy to be greeting you."
The second says, "How's it going hot stuff?"

So, yeah. Emoticon winks. Always a little risque in my head. IRL** winks are totally good. They are cute and silly and also kind of challenging...haha, but anyway, yeah.

*Artwork found on internet.
**In Real Life

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Late Night Ramblings-October 19th Edition

Will you allow me to divulge every thought I've had in the past 10 minutes? Oh, you will? Why, thank you!

So I was laying in bed and thinking and wondering and following my train of thought as I usually do before going to sleep but the ride was getting long,the passengers antsy, and destination Snooze seeming to stretch father into the distance the longer I pressed towards it. And with that metaphor, I begin. I drank a cup of coffee so I could focused on memorization. I was completely out of it this afternoon-no lie. I took 2 hour to hour and a half naps while trying to do homework and then, once finally up for the night, kept getting off task and disheartened. But, now, 3 hours later, I'm still running on high energy. OH JOY!

The good thing though is my thoughts have been organized and I made a few decisions.
1. I need to hang out with my buddy Lole again soon. I keep hearing second-hand accounts of what's going on with his life but I haven't really conversed with him. We've talked, but not conversed. The balancing act of friendship almost never leaves my mind and I strive to make it work.
2. I'm not gonna worry about my lines and memorization. As I laid there I worked through all my scenes, including my monster of a monologue, and got through all of them with a fairly small amount of trouble/hesitation. I will do my best and hopefully be able to show more emotion and movement with my character due to the fact I won't need a script. Deep breath. Trust myself. Do my best.
3. I shouldn't drink coffee after 3 or 4 o'clock. Genius.

I really get bogged down by all the negative that goes on around me. I know I'm just as guilty of it but when I'm hearing it from all sides, "It tends to make one embittered." I just keep saying, "Well, try and keep it positive.", "Don't worry so much about it.", "The last thing the situation needs is another negative comment, thought, idea, or whatever." It's not always easy or natural to stay positive but it's 100% more helpful than adding your own lightning bolts to a thunderstorm* that already has destructive power. Really, darlings, make a choice. Because every comment and attitude is just that: A choice.

I can't wait for Christmastime. It entails a birthday riding on it's tail, time off, presents, family, food, decorations, the acceptance of holiday music, and CHEER! How I love CHEER. I know that I'm jumping ahead of myself. What about Halloween? What about Thanksgiving? Well, those holidays bring some CHEER but they are no match for all that is Christmas. ChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmas.

Writing. I'd like to think I'm a good writer, but set me in front of a computer and ask me to write five pages of dialogue and my head is as empty as a pool filled with poop. (Well, I mean, the poop pool is empty of people. But obviously, quite bountiful in its poop population.) How do you create urgency, conflict, setting, interesting characters, realistic conversation, and an enticing plot? How? I mean, I know I'm not expected to be perfect or even that good-but I am not one to take things lying down. I want to DO WELL. And plus, when it comes to writing I wholeheartedly want to believe I can do anything. ("I can ride my bike with no handlebars" with my writing. That's how legit I am.**)

Hair. I try to dye my hair and change it up a bit and within the course of mere weeks it is already returning to its blond ways. Does it not understand that I need dark hair for the show? Does it not realize that change is a good thing? It's dumb and it bothers me. Just another way in which I cannot control my appearance. D:

Yeah, I'm done. Lord help me to sleep. I'm gonna regret this tomorrow. But, at least I did something semi-constructive! Reader, I love you. You mean a lot to me and make my crazy seem worthwhile. Stay gold.

*This is what negative storm sounds like.
Carl ORFF - O Fortuna by kerprof
**Don't think I'm cocky. I know I have so much room for improvement. Also, my statement is illogical.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


When others talk about their professions and the reasons behind their choices they say things like, "I want to help people." or "I want to entertain people." or "I think it'll be good for me because I'll get to work with people." I think we sometimes forget, though, that there are PEOPLE all around us. We walk by people every day and don't even give them a second thought. Do these worthy people suddenly appear once we reach adulthood? Do those around us now not count? If you want to do something for people, or impact people, or reach out to people, why aren't you doing it now? People aren't these magical entities, just waiting for the day that you get your college or high school degree. They are everywhere-needing you and whatever gift or passion that you have. In looking at the grand scheme of things, don't forget the people in the present and don't neglect their needs.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Mikel and the Darkness

[Short Story/Creation Myth for my English class]

The First Marriage

For ages and ages Darkness filled the Universe. The Universe existed, devoid of light and joy. People lived and walked in quiet fear and trembling. They were born unto Darkness and spent their lives residing in the dark. When a person would die, they fell into Darkness and it yet became blacker and colder. All the gods watched the people, mourning in the dark, and believed it was their given lot to live how the original gods had made them to. No god ever thought of giving light to the humans. Or so they did not, until the marriage of Deandre, the god of strength, and Cathora, the goddess of gentility and love. Before Deandre and Cathora, no gods had ever married. They only teamed together or separately created more gods where they saw the need to. The love between Deandre and Cathora, though, held so strong and true that they swore they could never stand to exist or create without the continued bond they held. The other gods, so moved by the pair’s commitment allowed them to marry and marveled at the first unity of the gods.

The Creation of Marea

Deandre and Cathora lived harmoniously together and lavished themselves in the love they shared. Soon, seeing how listless the other gods and goddesses became watching them, they encouraged them all to marry and find happiness as they had. The others denied the suggestion for fear that such a love could never again occur. Saddened by this, Deandre and Cathora conspired that they would teach humans how to find love and marry rather than mindlessly procreating as they were used to. So out of their love they bore Marea, meaning “marriage” in the tongue of the peoples. Then the people knew of Marea and her wonders and followed her example.

The birth month of Marea, March, from then on held all marriage celebrations, and the people had something to enjoy. Some would marry and learn to love, but still, some could not find love in the dark. Others lost their loves to the cold Darkness. Cathora, Deandre, and Marea watched this and were grieved.

Cathora said, “How are they to love without light? Why should we not give light to them to save them?”All the gods except Deandre and Marea scoffed at Cathora’s idea. Andor the supreme god of darkness replied in a booming voice,

“Never shall man receive light. Light is a privilege of the gods. The elder gods did not allow it and neither shall we.”

The Creation of Mikel

And so, the gods fought over the introduction of light for 9 months, starting on the anniversary of Marea’s birth until the middle of December. In the last 4 months of the battle Andor brought such cold across the Universe, freezing the people to death. Deandre, seeing the plight of the people, shook all of the heavens with his great might, knocking Andor and his supporters on their faces and crumbling the very foundation of the heavens. Andor cried out in defeat. Deandre declared,

“On the 19th of December, light shall be given unto the Universe. The light that comes from love shall never be stopped. It will warm the bones of the peoples in all lands, even the very sinews of the bones. No longer will darkness reign supreme.”

Andor surrendered his scepter of darkness to Deandre. Together Deandre and Cathora rid it of all the evil it held. Turning the scepter into a tool for good required 12 hours, and at the twelfth hour, they created Mikel, the light. Mikel leapt from the tip of the scepter and dove straight into Cathora’s arms. For 12 hours Mikel rested with Cathora, and Cathora basked in the glow of Mikel’s face. Mikel was healthy and just over 7 pounds. She had long, thin fingers. Her hair shimmered brightly atop her head. She smiled, eyes wide open, the night through as Cathora sang sweet songs to her.

The Battle with Darkness

For a month after that first night, Mikel cried out in anger and pain. She cried for the people of the Universe; she cried for she was too young and weak to give them her light. Her family tried to comfort her. Marea questioned Deandre and Cathora about her sorrowful sister, only wishing to help.

Deandre said to Mikel, “Stop your tears, Mikel. Please, stop the yelling. With it you only burn the ears of the gods and punish the people you love so much.” Cathora brought Mikel to her chest and told her to sing instead, so Mikel’s time of grieving passed. She sang songs, and her voice filled the Universe. The Darkness shivered at the sound and its winds whipped hither and thither across the lands.

The peoples wondered at the sound, so different from the piercings screeches they had suffered through. And soon, the people began to sing Mikel’s songs with her. Such beautiful harmony had never been heard in the Universe. The Darkness wailed and struck people down haphazardly, feelings its power draining.

Mikel’s eyes searched the land and her ears heard the songs of the multitudes. She bade them sing even louder and not to worry about those who the Darkness destroyed. So the peoples’ voices rose and they lamented not over death but only reveled in song and life. Together with her family and the people, Mikel sang for years. As she did, the darkness fled from the Universe, leaving behind only the smallest traces. Once Darkness had passed, those who had fallen under its power came back to life and such joy had never before been experienced. All people loved Mikel, the light, and she was worshiped above all other gods.

The Darkness

Though Darkness knew it had been defeated, it refused to relinquish all of its power. To this day Darkness hides on the opposite side of light, gripping people for as long as it can before running again, from Mikel and her songs.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Reflection Upon A Breadbowl Pasta

(No, not really but wanting)
(While making cookies)
(Well,riding in the car)
(Smelling the lusciousness)
(Of my mom's pizza)
(Of the pasta)
(At the wondrous taste)
(At an overfull belly)
(Of eating what I didn't finish tomorrow for lunch)

Haha. Thanks to those reading, welcome back to somethingtosay. I'm glad you tuned in for tonight's edition. I'm your host, Mikaella, and boy do I have some news for you. I'm happy again. Whereas if I had posted anything yesterday it would have been downydowny down. This afternoon I worked on my art project and got it to my liking!!!, read Goldilocks (our Theatre II children's show) in the bathtub, and have been hanging out with my mom. I didn't feel up to going to church and being around noise and other people. My face is breaking out and I feel like a homebody. That's what the weather has done to me. (At least the homebody part. The face thing, most likely my own doing.) Today I said to myself, "Self, the weather will continue to change for as long as you are alive. Eventually, you are going to have to learn to suck it up, put on a couple more layers, and stop telling everyone how cold you are." And yet, as it has happened for years, it isn't even Winter yet, but still I feel the need to hibernate for a couple months. Yikes. Perhaps the figurative and literal warmth of my loving friends will be enough incentive to brave the elements. Oh, that, and the fact that school is mandatory.

Notes- I stole your colors and I hope it's okay.
-You better be writing my letter, ponkkkk. ;D

And to the rest, my love and humble servitude always.

XOX Mikaella