I was reading Lole's blog the other day and as I started to reply I noticed my replies getting quite lengthy.Anyway, one thing he was talking about was how he felt bad because no one said anything about his birthday the other day and it reminded me of a lot of times where I've felt like crap when no one has noticed me. So, here was my response:
The thing I’ve had to come to terms with at least a zillion times is the balance between yelling, expecting, and making people aware. The Yellers:Some people live their lives yelling about their problems, and their successes, and their minor everyday life-and most of the time, people respond to those people in the appropriate manner. It's easy for them to be heard. Everyone within a 10 mile radius knows exactly what they want. “Oh my gosh you guys, it is TOTALLY my birthday tomorrow, get excited! I am the best person ever so I KNOW you will all get me marvelous stuff. I’m just like, the best, you know? So yeah. I’m gonna be 16 which is like the best thing ever and I want you all to bow down to me.” So everyone is like, “Oh my gosh, yeah. Happy Birthday. I totally have your gift ready and I know you'll love it. Just wait.” The Expectors:Then there are those, like me and you and a lot of other people I know, who casually drop a couple hints but really just expect people to know. Like, I couldn’t count on both hands the number of times I’ve been really upset and no one, I mean NO ONE, has said a thing. And, it’s not because people don’t care, it’s because they don’t notice. You’d be surprised at how little most people, including me, actually perceive. It’s really easy to just want everyone to know what’s going on with you-but most of the time, they won’t. So, you have to be the third type of person, the type who make people aware. “I’m sad right now, guys. And I’d like to talk about it.” Or, “I’m really excited about my birthday. I’m a little disappointed how unexcited everyone else seems. And I don’t just want to sit here feeling bad about it.” It’s not comfortable to do and maybe it’ll make you embarrassed, but it saves some heartache-for everyone involved. We have people surrounding us who genuinely care about us. So let's speak up and let ourselves be heard. Because everyone deserves it. At the end of the day, we're all just people.
Which are you? Which do you want to be?